Myspace track reviews

…Because really, I’m too lazy to go outside. Plus I noticed (from pitchfork, yeah) that reviewing one song is easier than a whole CD....

I’ve got an angle though. These tracks are (more or less) Myspace exclusives, which makes them topical. Also, I’ve always wanted an excuse to write about Mindless Self Indulgence and AFI…

Mindless Self Indulgence – Bomb This Track

Maybe, someday, in one of those twisted Marvel comics esq. alternate futures, Jimmy Urine will get the credit he deserves – as an industrial/metali-pop composer on par, if not superior to, Trent Reznor…at the very least, Urine’s stylistic versatility could have it’s carnal way with Reznor’s tired dog ‘n pony show…Reznor’s mom stole his Skinny Puppy LPs. Urine’s hot step mom stole his Skinny Puppy LPs, and then gave them back after he had his carnal way with her and the dude she was cheating on his dad with.

MSI made this song available for a week when their friend list hit 10,000 strong. It’s a novelty/faux-club song, but it's supposedly vanishing in a few days, so why not? I actually really want to hear the Black Eyed Peas cover it. I could even hear it coming out of someone like Destiny’s Child (or “cough” Missy Eliot) right up utill Urine belts out hardcore style shouting. Whole lotta effects get tossed ontop of each other during the bridge. Sounds arbitrary, but I find the chaos pleasant, if not soothing. It’s probably just going to annoy anyone unaccustomed to that sort of thing. However, those of us good and familiar with MSI (all 10,000 of us) are very accustomed to that sort of thing.

AFI – Rabbits are Roadkill on Rt. 37 –

Not technically a Myspace web exclusive. It’s on the Myspace records comp, but I’m presuming no one will buy that. Or ah…maybe “hoping” is a better word…

Anyway, I take a fair amount of flank for the All Hallows EP tattoo on my arm, and rightfully so. As if I couldn’t have foreseen AFI skyrocketing to multi-national conglamorama. Corporate sellouts. I should stop going to their shows and buying all their records….Someday.

Goths love to dance, (See – The Faint, the last band I reviewed, and the 80es), particularly the type of Goths who post lots of pictures of themselves online. So it’s appropriate this song ended up on the myspace comp. “Rabbits” is no “Totalimortal,” but it is a catchy, peppy little tune about self loathing. We’re hearing AFI offering up a sacrifice to the pagan god of New Wave, along the lines of The Cure or New Order. They might be hitching up to the insidious post-punk revival, but maybe they were planning to start sounding like this before anyone cared about The Killers. I feel unfit to judge. Still, I play the song.

Mostly an excuse to link to some bands

There was a show at Matty and Hutch's last Saturday. Chicago Typewriter, Shanghai Valentine, Stressbomb, and American Distress (ex-Choking Victim member(s?)) all played. At most shows, 'specially places like the M&H Basement, maybe half the bands are okay, one sucks, and one is really good. Last weekend, all four bands utterly tore the joint apart.

I'd go into it more, except my coverage (including interviews and pictures) is going to become a flash slide show thingy. It'll be interesting to see how that turns out. Keg beer and homework sometimes mix well, sometimes not.

I will say that I have a whole new appreciation for good rock 'n roll photography. You know those mosh pit shots where one or two dudes at the front of the stage scream the words in the face of the singer as he screams right back at them? Those shots are friggin' impossible to get. To my credit, I did get a few good shots of the heavy metal vomit dance party in the living room.
If I need one more reason to keep this short, a perfectly good review will probably manifest on this bulletin board at some point.

Pointless rant about Myspace (This joke has gone too far)

Everywhere I go it seems like people are moaning and waving their arms around about Myspace. How it’s changed music forever, how it’ll make CD obsolete (just like movie theatres became when the VCR was invented), how pedofiles can use it to rape children (They used to have to buy candy, now they have it much easier), how weepy goth poety is lame, how unsettling it is that all you need is 20 seconds, a first name, and one other vague detail to learn more about a person than you would small talking at a bar for a half hour....

Here’s the real consequence of Myspace. It’s a record label now, so CDs aren’t going away. Not if my friend Tom can help it. For those who aren’t in the know, it is my pleasure to unveil the first artist to be signed to Myspace records.…Because the people demanded it. Because this band got that many friend requests, that many comments, that many hits...As Spider Jerusalem put it, "Because you wouldn't have it any other way.".....The most popular band on the internet is…Hollywood Undead.

So yeah…

Democracy doesn’t work. This is the lesson Myspace has taught us. One man one vote was a cute idea, but clearly, when put into practice, it fails miserably.